Whats interesting is that I have had multiple women contact me here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery wondering if they should contact their ex after the no contact. You can go out alone and do soul searching. Told him he didnt act like a boyfriend that cared by the way he was talking . Assume that you are out there trying to become that ungettable girl. One of the most overlooked factors when it comes to the no contact rule is how the actual breakup will affect your boyfriend. That if he wanted to talk about working things out, then thats another story. Also, just perhaps it is a good thing that he does not want to talk with you. but that doesnt mean he has forgotten about you. His failure to even reach out or give you a hint that he is thinking of you could be because he is stubborn or hes proud. I am a single mom of a daughter who is not his child and Im done Im going in circles in a relationship that Im even unsure if there will be an end I.e marriage. In such a situation, youre not being rude because (once again) youve broken up. However, the one constant when it comes to learning about the ex recovery process is the fact that this process is very complex and can be very hard to understand at times . The grass is greener syndrome can run deep in the minds of a lot of ex boyfriends. No ones ever loved me that much before he was so heartbroken when it all happened . A few months ago I got a message from a woman whose ex hadnt contacted her during her no contact period. THEY ARE CHILDREN. On and off talking .. been split for three weeks now . I ended things last night saying that I loved him but I couldnt beg him to love me the way I love him and that I hoped hed come back to me and I hoped he was going to be okay.. do you think the No contact rule will maybe push him to get better or am I a horrible person for not staying longer when Ive begged him for things to go back to how they were. What should you do if your ex does not respond to your first contact message? If he levels such an accusation, my reaction would be, really? We lived together and got along very well. While those emotions may be negative they are still emotions and if you play your cards right you can turn them in your favor. Hi D, so going from what you have said. You cant control how your ex feels. Lets assume you started the no contact period immediately after the break up too. After the no contact period is over. But otherwise, I hope hed appreciate my need for space. It takes time to get over that but you definitely need to remind yourself of what he has done and that you deserve much better than what you got from him! I think you would benefit if you had an ex recovery plan to follow as a blueprint, not just for optimizing your chances, but also to help you with your own healing needs and recovery activities. You know, the he is going to have to text me if he wants to talk type of attitude. What else have I done now? So I told him not to contact me unless he resolves those issues, he reluctantly agreed. I then sent another one and he still hasnt We want him to notice. Then you are going to be extremely disappointed and depressed if stuff like this doesnt happen at all. The longer he takes the more pissed I get that he thinks so little . Could he be angry with me for not saying anything after our last talk? Utilizing No Contact seldom leads to your guy moving on faster. Yes, it can be heart breaking when someone you thought you could trust and who you loved chooses another. According to a study by a Western Ontario graduate, Ms. Veronika Lukacs, 90% of exes check their exes profile after the breakup. As always, remember our mantra: Let him be. When he broke up with me, he said it was because he felt like he was not good enough for me since most of our problems were his fault. I said, u never wanted to be in my heart, why does it matter to you now? I gave him that and when the week was up I told him we should stop talking. My boyfriend of 2 years has been going through a long divorce . As I mentioned earlier, you cant control him. Required fields are marked *. For example, I remember when I was younger and a girl I was falling for wouldnt respond to my texts I logged on to Facebook and looked at her profile to see if she was online. But he doesnt view my stories he ignored my dad . This whole notion of people moving on is short sighted. I went down stairs, foundggrandma unconscious, after three days I lost her. So lets take stock of what it might mean if your ex responds this way. The purpose of the no contact rule is not to get your ex-girlfriend back. Go to a bookstore and hang out. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? So, there is no use getting all depressed over a strategy that is literally at its beginning. Do you think I still have a chance? He always said that he would marry me one day but then he said that he doesnt like me anymore and dont want to spend life with me. He got angry on it n said ok. You see, there is this principle called psychological reactance. Too often do I run into someone who completely misunderstands the purpose of the no contact rule (again read this article for a refresher.). For one thing, its too fast for him to move on right away, particularly straight into the arms of another. It will help keep your mind off of sad times. Lets walk down the path many women often take. What if HE was the one that broke up with you? Hi, Or on the positive side, hes just busy or he wants you to take your time. Much of this post will also focus on solutions. However, when it comes time to actually build or grow your relationship communication is going to be required. Hes going to forget you: Out of sight, out of mind, You might ask, Cant I just continue to talk to him and just not talk to him about the relationship, so that I can remind him of the good times and not risk losing him?. It seems to run against the grain of what you have been doing in the past. But the program is here to give you, your best chance of getting him back, Hi, Im on day 27 of no contact and Im starting to panic. Not hearing from your ex boyfriend during No Contact can be for a lot of reasons. Hello , you dont talk much on guys that self sabotage . Sometimes your ex boyfriend wont be able to see the error of his way or learn to forgive you of your mistakes unless there is a clean break. Other than that, great relationship! Definition of Mantra: Its a group of words in Sanskrit believed by practitioners to have psychological and spiritual powers. Its hard not hearing off someone you went from being best friends with to on/off with, back to friends then to not talking. We had never argued! In fact, a lot of readers love when I go on one of my tangents about how important it is to be logical. However, there is also a time where it is very important to be emotional. The no contact rule is meant to tap into that loss and cause an ex boyfriend to contact you but is that the true purpose of the no contact rule? For some reason every time I think of this example I think of your ex boyfriend just sitting in a dark room chanting: Ill show her Ill show her Ill show her.. I have thought he is worth waiting for. What your ex boyfriend is losing is you. That brings me to my next point. He talked about maybe how things annoyed him that he hasnt spoke of but wouldnt tell me what they were. Instead, wait about three hours to text or call him back or 24 hours to email. However, if he doesnt contact you it is entirely possible that he still misses you but he is just too stubborn to reach out (which I will talk to you about in a little bit.). Lets say you already explained to him that you need space and No Contact is underway. You have control over the attitude you embrace each and every day. I never stopped him, cause I though his actions n words are different, n his words doesnt mean anything. This is particularly true if the two of you were getting along for a good part of the relationship. The lesson you can take from all of this is to not to pursue or get trapped in a rebound relationship too. I dont know he is missing me or not. Shall I give up on him or just be patient and give him the time. That can be scary and tough to deal with! Am I doing no contact correctly?? I bet you never thought of your ex has a science experiment! In essence, they are continually practicing their social skills. They think and hope that unfriending without blocking means that their ex still has feelings for them and that their ex . Then in August, he called it off saying there is no future and that he cant give me one. And worst, this kind of thinking can cause you to act out on what you are thinking. Should I move on? We cannot always see down the road. Sometimes a guy can forget the bad feelings he had with his old flame. When your ex sends you a friend request on Facebook, you have one of the best signs that your ex has processed the most smothering breakup emotions. Hey Assunta I am sorry but that is only something you can decide. Ex unfriended me during no contact Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? He tried jobs but that didnt pay him well and was also not satisfied doing those jobs. It is tough out there in the break up world! Here I am again.. A couple of days later he broke up with me, saying my refusal hurt the love he had for me. That is good for your girl! I was hurt deeply and Im just starting to feel better. Post your availability status on Facebook. I was getting upset when he did but I didnt say anything . Maybe someone has his ear and is whispering a lot of negativity to him about you. Well, lets again turn to our Moonstruck Girl for some wisdom. He was very manipulative and lied a lot so I went into no contact and a week and a half later they are engaged to be married. So, your ex doesnt want you to be happy after he breaks your heart? Sometimes we need to be angry in a constructive way to work out the emotions. Dont send anything and dont reply to anything unless it is super important such as an immediate bill for example. what you are up to. Many dumpees want to know why their ex unfriended them but didnt block them. I didnt received. This is me taking responsibility for not explaining the no contact rule as thoroughly as I should have. Heck, I know many of you are concerned that the No Contact Rule may not even work for you. Then you happen upon Chris website and start learning about how you can go about getting your ex back. That way he will keep comparing you to the new girl and miss you more. Before I say anything else I just want to throw that out there. Perhaps he just doesnt want a relationship with me. Maintain the activities you started during no contact and then when you start texting, approach it like he has moved on to her. Some men are just wired this way and it is really unfortunate because with these men it will usually be you that has to take the first step. I am currently almost day 6 and struggling. Ok, well maybe thats a bit dramatic but I think you get the point right! What does it mean and what should you do? February 18, 2023 by Zan. My bf and I were together over 6 years. We only share Snapchat as a mutual social media platform so no other way to be in contact. Hey Bebee, you are not meant to warn your ex that you need space. This is a question I get all the time. We used to chat on telegram app and i deleted that account and uninstalled the app 2 weeks ago. Its purpose is to help you get yourself back. I think its because he hurt me so bad and Im burned out of him pushing me away . I was gonna yell at him for acting so mean and disresful he never answered and I wasnt gonna blow up his phone. I have promised myself not to look at his things. He used to spend every night at my house but he was taking it slow . Im not sure if I should reach out as I sent the last message which didnt require a reply but he never replied to. (It was hurtful) on 18 feb he shouted again, a lot ofthings in which he cursed me saying,you wont live happy ever.. N many other things. Going no contact is particularly useful after a relationship's breakup, especially if you were the one who was dumped or betrayed. I am 9 days into the no contact period and im feeling good. Why is this so difficult? You see, men and women are very similar in many respects. Hurtful evil x . Going forward, your focus should be on your own healing. So, he will most likely check your profile. You probably still want your ex backand that's okay . I have panic contacting him and him being cold to me or ignoring me. You have been in the no contact period for about 10 days but he hasnt contacted you. He also has a lot going on in his life right now, so I understand, but I was always there for him through it all so It hurt when he said he didnt want to be in relationship at all. I said no I will. Stage 2 of No Contact for Dumper: Curiosity. If you think that no contact is guaranteed to: Then I have some really bad news for you. Youre doing good right? So last year I call it off. I am not one to wear my heart on my sleeve but she is. Read the articles about your first reach out text. My pride told me not to do it but my heart wanted to so bad. Since this guide is specifically focusing on men who havent contacted you during NC lets use that as an example. What do you think I told women to do after no contact? what did you eat. But also talked about how he should have made more effort. An ex boyfriend is going to message you if he feels an emotional attachment to you. And then out of the blue he tells you that if you dont reply and be friends with him, you cant talk to him ever. I am not talking to him since 21 March. Breaking up is hard on both parties. Here is what a failing attitude looks like: I am so depressed he hasnt called me my life revolves around him blah, blah, blah.. Youre doing the no contact because you need time to heal and he needs time to think about his actions that contributed to the breakup. Omg ! We dont know when Corona restrictions will end. I did do a little begging afterwards and tried to reach a resolution but he was adamant it was over. Hes damaged ! While that may sound horrible to you, particularly now with the break up still fresh in your mind, a clean break sometimes cleanses the soul. It has saved my life. Or emotionally unavalible . Neither of us have contacted one another. If he pushes back at you in a negative way, it is probably either because hes still angry over the reasons he broke up with you or hes getting revenge from being ignored. He may be angry because hes was not expecting this reaction. He was supposed to come back the next day after hunting . Did he even care?. Like may be ur bad mouthing about me. That is how I see it. NC 2 months. In other words, in that massive guide I actually recommend that you are the first one to make contact with your ex after the no contact period. Hes stubborn and Im really proud. There are a lot of things under the surface that tugs at us to keep us connected with our Ex after a break up. Be sure that you are professional in the workplace, but not his friend. Personally, I think men like this arent very good in relationships. In y case both damaged by past relationship and on top 2years go I lost my daughter. What happens if youre not a big social media user? Its obvious he is upset because of what hes been posting on social media. Because he will think that she dumped me before so she needs to be more careful but in reality he was wrong and he will show no improvement. He may still be angry with you or terribly hurt. Because it is these same women who come back with their tail between their legs when their ex boyfriend doesnt contact them at all saying that: I tried this and it didnt work.. What do I do now??????. I did follow the rules and I lost them anyway. I said then u were you being nice all these days he says it was cause if your mother she home now. My point is that you never know when he could contact you. The alternative is to do everything you can think of to please him or convince him youre the right one. I got really drunk and called him late that mjght after texting all night and said some mean things . In other words, the how part of him getting back at you?. Over time, it plays over and over again. I want nothing more than to get her back. But I do want you to understand the importance of you finding yourself again, which means you need to be happy with who you are and not feel dependent on your Ex. First, relax. Better yet, lets refer to it as the Moonstruck Mantra. But what do you think is going on in his mind during this period of no contact? You cannot control his actions. I have heard nothing. Its not normal to be friends right after the break up. He told me he was done going to bars after that to make me feel better . Only real life experience with another person can inform us whether we will be fulfilled and happy with them. I said, I preferred ro loan him money myself and he flipped, basically interpreting it as if I rejected him at him time of need. N few days later he called off the friendship too, he said now there is no friendship between us, at this point I lost it, n shouted back, what m I to you? If your ex starts to behave in this manner, it is likely he will eventually change this attitude because often its a spur of the moment reaction. Remember, the guy who is stubborn may want more than anything for you to contact him but he just cant get out of his own way sometimes. Our main problem towards the end of the relationship was communication. I have started complete no contact in attempt to reset the relationship, particularly financial boundaries, and to increase esteem and respect. We had few text in the first 10 day then I have been silent for the last. And there are times where your ex boyfriend has a friends with benefits type of relationship with another. Then he stopped watching any of my Snapchat stories . Work was busy etc. He broke up 3 weeks ago. Leverage the remaining feelings he has for you by making him see you in a different light. But it can also be your way of influencing the way he thinks about you. Seeing his number go up on Snapchat every minute of the day . And then things just start spiraling out of control. This candlelit dinner had seemed to be to signal things were on the upswing. Sometimes it really pays to be the first one making the move on your ex because not only can you control things a little bit better it is always kind of nice when a guy feels wanted. I mean hes pissed because I look like I just dont care after all!. I and my love were in a romantic relationship for 8 months. What do you think? Dont start going on dates (early in the process) or sleep with a guy. For the last 2 months hes been consistent in seeing me yet his heart is not there no effort completely detached ! Well, what we know so far is that they feel entitled to a response. Responsibility for not saying anything after our last talk resolution but he was taking it slow me if he to! Its too fast for him to notice was over every night at my house but he taking. 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