To this day, 20+ years later, the smell of chocolate (especially warmed, as in fresh-baked cookies) makes me queasy. Thank you! Are you using patchouli scented anything at home? Its unreasonable of me to ask a coworker to adjust her perfume when shes not at work.). Cmon, guys. Apparently it made her sick when she was pregnant with me. Nobody wanted to deal with her because she was insane in many ways. So when I started working with someone who was bothered by the smell (but not asthmatic or allergic), I did try to work with them to reduce the intensity of the smell. Because burping and sniffing are minor offenses, the employee will likely receive a minor form of discipline, such as verbal warning. It could also be that OP is very crunchy granola, (think Phoebe from Friends) and her coworker doesnt like those people. Maybe shes conservative, maybe she just finds them annoying, maybe shes worried OP will kidnap her and force her to participate in a drum circle. Thats why I like Alisons advice. Smells sink into our brain and memory and association in a way almost nothing else does. Yeah, thats my take. If its at the point where its only popping up twice over a few months, and your coworker is upset that you keep bringing it up because she feels shes addressed it, it seems like your coworker has done what she can and it would be a good idea not to bring it up with her anymore. But, it might be that your area is still retaining some of the scents you were wearing previously. Also, my perfumes are kept in a closed cedar box that is separate from both my closet and my dresser. Now she recognizes that shes gotten more sensitive, but for years she would accuse everyone and every restaurant of over-spicing their foods. I stopped wearing everything and she says its me when the men in the office wear cologne and shave. That said, I do have scented shampoo because there are like 3 on the market that are unscented, most of which I cant afford. I step away from them if it makes my eyes water (Seriously, must you bathe in it?? I dont think your co-worker is being very kind and you have gone out of your way to accommodate her, but it is possible that a patchouli scent (no offense, but I hate that smell so much I wont even walk into a store where I can smell it) is lingering in your clothes? Im being highly unhelpful with the +1s and derails on this thread but I kind of love you for that line. Yep. Next day had the worst hangover of my life. ), Or, more likely, the company will discontinue it or reformulate and I will buy up every tub of the old stuff I can find and then spend another year or so searching for a replacement. But frankly, you shouldnt be expected to cut something you enjoy out of your life entirely just because it annoys her. Its really hard not to come across as rude. Im worried that there might be an underlying medical issue. And then walk away. Give the interrupter . Agreed. Belts, scarves, sweaters, jackets, coats, purses, and shoes can easily have scent embedded. :) I think the last candle I had was a Douglas fir tree-scented candle that I got in December because my cats wont let me get a real Christmas tree. Same goes for my scented lotion after a nightly shower with my scented soap. The only crossover is my jeans, but I dont wear any scent on my lower half. I was thinking that it might be something like this for the OP. I have to add that this isnt to imply that OP has an odd personal smell at all! OP has done put in a ton of effort to alleviate the smell. I had a similar experience with my uncle. Because if it is lingering on a jacket or handbag (or even jewelry), she wont be able to smell it. Weve worked together on this project for about six months, and been in the same office for about three years? I always smelled like pepperoni and pizza grease. Right; this is where the psychology of scent gets complicated, because everything and everybody has a scent, and everything and everybody is made of chemicals. I had a coworker who happened to have her desk right below one of the (old) building's AC vents, and she would sniffle / cough at least several times every single hour. Im late to the party, and havent read all the comments, but Im finding this fascinating because I could imagine being the coworker writing to Alison about this same issue: Id appreciate feedback on how I can approach an issue in my workplace. It could be that the coworker hasnt realized they have the issue, not our delightful LW. Yeah, youre not alone in wondering this. So whether shes extra-sensitive or not, shes clearly a jerk. This is how our body protects itself. Make a joke about you. Not only that, but it can also be a sign that your female coworker likes you but is hiding it. And Im damn sure not asking that of all my friends and family. *Hugs* to you. Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or being dramatic by pointedly yet politely saying, "Gee, that comment sounded a bit condescending to me. It's his responsibility. If the colleague continues, especially in a loud, unrestrained manner, consider making a complaint to your manager or human resources department. Im actually surprised to see the majority of the comments focusing on try X, when it seems pretty clear that the coworker has become the problem, regardless of what smells may or may not be lingering on the OP or her belongings. I have coworkers who occasionally wear scents, but we work in different areas, and I only have to endure the smell during the elevator ride, etc. I was so sick that night. Period, full stop. Lots of open space and cubicles and the offices are reserved for leadership. I feel like this thread could be about my brother once he gets an office job. Dryer sheets? We get really obsessed about smells. Agree. shut. I couldnt smell it approaching the rack, but it was very apparent in my home. As an example, you could say, "I'm very sensitive to odors and I lose my focus at work whenever I smell a burp." Or you could say, "I'm on the phone a lot, and the extra . So as far as I can tell, this came out of left field. Until I got sick after drinking too much of it (and not eating enough) at an awkward dinner party. It's really annoying. Occasionally I feel like I can smell the soap my first boyfriend used, and it still makes me feel on edge (the relationship was, unfortunately, abusive). And the OP is herself sensitive to chemical smells, so the Febreeze would be harming herself. Since your coworker is making comments about patchouli, which has certain connotations, their excessive reaction feels, I dont know, prejudice or politicized almost? Honestly, the answer is probably telecommuting. It turns out I suffer from ocd i am on medication for it. I might ask them to not wear perfume or not have those scented candle diffusers in their office or cubicle, but anything over and above that just seems really extreme. They feel so over-the-top as to be completely unreasonable to ask of a coworker. I love perfumes and scented bath products, but my scalp is really allergic to many fragrances. You can do what you can to not overtly smell of fragrance, but I would be pissed if a coworkers extremely sensitive nose caused my employer to change my lifestyle so drastically outside of work. There are other avenues to explore (rearranging desks/offices, getting a fan, etc.) As I said, I dont think she has one. Issues are raised. I wouldnt wish that on anyone. But not all allergies are as obvious as hay fever. (I mean, other than the usual feedback from my manager.) I try really hard to balance my wanting to smell yummy with being considerate of those around me! Id be pretty miffed if I had to stop using things in my personal life. We rinsed them off and re-used them until they were super gross. My jacket? This is definitely on this co-worker. Before I purchased the humidifier I googled it & found other was somy house won't be so dry. Either way, your coworker is being a jerk. , so I havent said anything about them. who CANNOT DEAL with the fact that a person doesnt eat cheese. Wear what you will, but please know that you are not keeping the smell away from coworkers. I have to agree . Patchouli has actually been a key scent note for Dior for decades :-). I was going to suggest this. I think that Picky Coworker is one of those types who will demand more and more concessions from LW until she has LW thoroughly buffaloed and walking on eggshells. Clock out and walk around the block for 15 minutes before I come back to my desk? If so, that means that in the co-workers mind, the OP is trying to get away with wearing stuff that shes promised to stop wearing, which would explain her being shirty about it. take a deep breath (through your mouth): The cause of chronic sniffling is I dont know if its the food they eat (not curry or garlic) or what, but they smell like Home Country when they visit America. Unrelated to any sort of sickness, but I loathe the taste of chicken and always have. People get to wash their hair and clothing and body using normal products. But what if she likes patchouli? Not just because it isnt fair to severely limited what people can do on their own time in their own homes but because its impossible to totally eliminate cross-contamination, especially with common fragrances. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. Thats very possible. So stop it. I sincerely dont mean to be rude, but in those moments its nearly impossible for me to contain my irritability. I switched to unscented laundry stuff, shampoo, body wash and antiperspirant but the complaints continued. Bring the complainer to her house to show that there are no more scented products? :). You could try the old Smellers the feller line. I really wish that my coworker would get sent home too. I love lOccitane products, they somehow avoid scent allergies for me. Sniffle. This accomplishes TWO things. Out of curiosity, does the sound of a nose being blown bother anyone here? It just may turn out that you can tell her to kick rocks if she just has a personal preference and its not a sensitivity at all. Oh, Jager I cant be near it. I believe in this case, the OP is white (based on the photo Gmail sends with the email, which of course isnt 100% conclusive). Does she police every individual in the office? 10 Worst Cities for Spring Allergies. I think coworker, at this point, enjoys seeing OP fly into a panic about stinking so shes keeping up the Ooh, you stink! commentary. I'm the only one with a direct view. Im not sure what else I can do. Is it really noticeable? Even if she were aware the problem was on her side, the sensitivity would remain the same. I just read your post describing your boyfriend's sniffling and was thinking that could be me writing that post. update: how can I turn down training requests from my clients? I dont necessarily think anyone should totally change the soap they use because as someone who is dramatically allergic/sensitive to smells, I really dont think commercial soaps smell THAT strongly. Im saying this as someone with almost no sense of smell, so my word is worth nothing, but I really really bet thats whats going on. If most people cant smell whatever your current perfume load is, then its not your problem if one person is bothered. I didn't do it to annoy others. Ooh, I would love to have a coworker who smelled like cookies! But Id be pretty cranky if someone at work told me I had to stop using some hygiene product unless it was REALLY egregiously strong-smelling (looking at you, beloved Soap and Glory lotion that I wont wear in public). I thought he did it brilliantly well even though it was a tough thing. I understand having to accommodate a coworker with an ADA request (although correct me if Im wrong but I believe that would come directly from the company and likely wouldnt require everyone to replace all scented everything they own because that seems like an unreasonable accommodation) but in this case its a coworker who is ceaselessly complaining about the OPS existence rather than her actual scent, based on the steps shes taken. the people who are secretly working multiple full-time jobs from home, future manager is a bigoted jerk, boss hasnt paid me back, and more, weekend open thread February 18-19, 2023. They made a make shift area in a corner wth an old desk and asked me if I I much prefer that someone blows their nose. I love that Coppertone smell! Yes, this is what Im finding a little boggling about a lot of the comments talking about scents at home, in mattresses, sheets, etc. Its also a scent that has some religious/racial connotations to people. If I really need to do laundry and my parents invite me over for an evening, I may take some over then, but just enough to tide me over until I have time to do laundry in my own building. Though thats from a genetic immune disorder, not a sensitivity. Youre going a long way to accommodate her, which is nice of you. Although if someone (politely) asked me to use a different detergent because it was making them ill, I probably would. If your coworker continues the comments after these conversations, then at that point, say this: Clearly this isnt something we can resolve on our own. Oh yeah, thats smart too. Had any luck? Spray a lot and youll probably go, Nooooooo! because Tom Ford is absolutely a 1-1.5 spritz perfume (I say that as someone who ownsat least five TF fragrances) and if youre into Sephora there are rumblings of a VIBR/VIB/BI sale coming up starting the 18th. If the scent-sensitive person really cant handle it they should try to avoid OP, move desks if they sit near them, etc. Im sure she thinks that the scent is gone I have no doubt about her sincerity and Im also pretty sure Id be able to tell on the Monday if shed worn patchouli that weekend. * Diets heavy in certain foods like onions and garlic (yum) may give strong body scents. The main issue I have with this response is that its putting the onus on the LW to handle the issue, and thats just not fair. This gesture communicates the non-verbal message, "I am virile, powerful and dominant". Do you have a soft chair, or have you been wearing the same coat since then? The only thing I can think of is that it was not washed as much as the other clothed. Constant snarky comments and exaggerated sniffing sounds like shes having fun at your expense rather than suffering from scent sensitivities. :) All in all, its just frustrating when youve done everything to accommodate someone and they are still abrasive. Even assuming theres a real medical reason for this (and thats a leap on the presented facts) accommodation is on the employer, not fellow employees. For what its worth I associate these kind of scents/oils with white-hippies so I read this this as the LW being white and the co-worker being if an unknown race at this point. 1. I cant hear what my sons saying if hes sitting next to me but facing the other direction, but cant not hear him eating popcorn from the other room. Ive always had it and its bananas impossible to explain to anyone without coming off as a jerk when Id suddenly fume or snap a pencil under the table or run away from the dinner table. It seems to help get the scents out, but it still takes several washings to get the scent out. Well, rose and lime and the mens Eau des Baux are good, their neroli scent is like death. Freshly applied perfume, sure, thats reasonable to ask people not to do. I now have refused being singled out. Were there any complaints prior to this (about anything, not necessarily OPs scent)? Exactly my thought. She needs to figure out a way to disperse the smell at work (with a fan? I would believe that if this had been an issue prior to this one instance of OP using a perfume that the coworker found offensive; if OP uses patchouli scent regularly outside of work and her coworker is so sensitive that even the lingering smell on her jacket is unbearable, it would have come up before now. 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