can a lay carmelite be married

Its important to recognize that our oblates are not a program. As to vows: Secular Carmelites can and do take private (not public as religious do) vows of chastity and obedience, but not poverty. It is a tremendous blessing to be called by Our Lord to deepen your loving friendship with Him through prayer in the manner of the great Carmelite saints. There were only about a dozen women and men in the community then, all old enough to be my parents/grandparents. Wooden says she was drawn to Benedictine spirituality because of its emphasis on balance, moderation, and contemplation. And I can relate to the wandering, but also to the hope that grace is always calling us deeper inside. These Carmelite Saints are now my family, kindred spirits in the Communion of Saints and sharers in the spiritual benefits promised by Our Lady to our whole order of friars, nuns, and seculars. The Carmelite order was split into two: the . The Third Order of Carmel actually has several components the Lay Carmelites being one of them, albeit the largest group of Third Order Carmelites. It is best to become a member of a local community (or chapter). There is a very extensive formation process for Secular Carmel: My Carmelite religious name is Kelly of the Holy Spirit. Attend daily Mass when available. Personal spiritual direction is extremely valuable, not only in discerning whether or not to enter into a process of formation, but also to prevent doubts later! This week, we will hear from several different members who are lay members of various religious orders. God is always inflowing and we must open ourselves to Him. Formation for Definitive Promise of three years, in which one is immersed more deeply into the spiritual tradition and works to integrate this spirituality into life. We are 4 years old and are located in the Diocese of Easton (Maryland). It is open to single and married men and women, lay and clergy, of the Episcopal Church and those who are in communion with Canterbury. However, I did have a life-changing conversion experience in high school thanks to a LifeTeen retreat my sophomore year. Yet even the more traditional communities will . A Catholic sister is a woman who lives, ministers, and prays within the world. But when you can look back and know that you did not make this decision alone but with the help of a director and following the path of formation laid out by the Order, you can dismiss some of the doubts that may enter in and drain the joy and peace that are essential for persevering. 4. There is no question that anyone can learn about and adapt his private spiritual life to that of the Third Order Carmelites. As everything of value comes from our union with God, and the whole point of the growth in holiness laid out by St. Teresa and St. John is this union, Carmelite spirituality is a way of deepening my intimacy with the Lord and impelling me to bring His light to every darkened place. Email: mhcholyhill@gmail.com. Its that His coming reminds us that every moment of our lives, Hes there in it with us. Often they were persons of limited means who shared in the manual labor of a monastic community. Secular Carmelites come from all walks of life they are men and women, business owners, retirees, students, married and single, young and old. The vows "constitute a more complete oblation of self to God, and add the merit of the virtue of religion to the observance of chastity and obedience." In the United States, the Secular Order is divided into three provinces: the Western Province, the Central . The basic points that are to be addressed during initial formation are discussed in the Rule for the Third Order. Shes the sweet, persistent little sister I never had. The questions you ask yourself DEFINTELY make a difference in how you are forming your thought patterns. Both are organized into local communities or chapters, and (primarily for meetings) wear a similar 6 x 8 brown wool cloth scapular. Mission: Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites are called to a deeper spiritual life. Each day is the chance to take a step forward on the path to sanctity. This intimacy helps one discover God's presence in every facet of daily life. If I live in a place where there is no Lay Carmelite Community can I still become a Lay Carmelite? A contemplative religious life for the glory of God, the honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the sanctification of the Church, and the salvation of souls. After the very first community meeting, it just became incredibly clear that this is where God was calling me. This article also appears in the June 2019 issue of U.S. Catholic (Vol. . It is an association of people who choose to live the Gospel in the spirit of the Carmelite Order and under its guidance. Historical records about its origin remain uncertain, but it was probably founded in the 12th . Peters is also vice president of the American Benedictine Academy, an organization that fosters monastic scholarship and research. What constitutes the formation period, and what does profession mean?3. It is a vocation. Where: Sacred Heart Parish Hall, 2355 Monroe Avenue, Red Bluff. Praise the Lord! They include members of other Christian denominations as well as Catholics. But if you come across an order and start reading the words of their founders or their Saints and feel profound peaceas though youve found ancestors or a brother or sisterthat, my friend, that is everything. After finding a community you feel comfortable in, you would enter into a year of study on general topics relative to Carmel and lay Carmelites. So I've never not been in the Church. Check out the Carmelite Nuns of Baltimore for example. 36-41) Lay Carmelites live a life of intense prayer based on daily meditation (use of Lectio Divina is a highly acceptable method), participation in the sacramental life of the Church centred on daily Mass and reception of Holy Communion as often as possible, praying at least Morning, Evening and Night Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, the wearing of the Brown Scapular of Carmel, and cultivating a love and devotion for our Blessed Mother nourished with practices such as the praying of the Rosary. Now, you might be wondering what it feels like to be "called" to . Mary is our Mother and also our model of complete openness and a ready yes to whatever the Spirit moves within us. Oblates are necessary too, but their first commitment isnt to the monastery. Becoming a Lay Carmelite is a vocation for anyone - married or single, man or woman. I was led to this and should keep moving forward. If you feel peace and love and joy, take another step forward. In the words of the great Spanish Carmelite and mystic, Saint Teresa of Avila, Mental prayer in my opinion is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.. But there is little hope that other professed members will join the community. All Carmelites seek to live in allegiance to Jesus Christ. Do you feel that there is never the correct time to pray, or even just the time to pray? In the Archdiocese of Atlanta, Lay Carmelite communities are one way to live more deeply the Catholic faith. You must be at least 18 years of age. 6:34)? I did not read these before entering the Order, but if you are wondering, these are a great introduction: The mission of the OCDS is to know God that He may be known! The Lay Carmelite is called to live a life of allegiance to Jesus Christ, and does this by sharing in the spirituality of the Carmelite Order. The oblate vow of stability will undergo significant change, shifting from being community-centered with a strong sense of place to perhaps a more practice-centered focus and nomadic orientation., Johnston likens the situation to that of Ezekiel, the prophet who with packed bag digs a hole in the wall of certitude and climbs through it, entering the unknown. Johnston says oblates, like the prophet, may have to resort to carrying their Benedictine spirituality on their shoulders, like exiles.. The adobe Abbey of Our Lady of Guadalupe sits in the mountainous high desert of New Mexico, some 25 miles from Santa Fe. They follow the prophet Elijah to seek, live, and invite other to God's presence and justice. But a Carmelite is in a religious order How in the. She sys that God walks amid the pots and pans, meaning that not only is prayer more about relationship than words, but also that when we are doing even menial everyday tasks, we can offer up our hearts to the Lord while we do them. pray Morning and Evening Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours, practice at least 30 minutes of mental prayer in silence and solitude, engage in a daily examination of conscience and confess our sins frequently. 1. Discernment . So, if you find yourself intrinsically drawn to prayer, perhaps your soul is hearing the gentle whispers of the Holy Spirit to strengthen and deepen your friendship with God in the Carmelite manner. Since then, I have always believed. Several monasteries are experimenting with ways to better integrate oblates into their religious communities. At 20, she married Richard Miller, who became vice president of Pacific Gas and Electric, a utility company. Romey is the driving force behind Being Benedictine in the 21st Century: Spiritual Seekers in Conversation, a conference planned for June 2020 at Mount St. Scholastica in Atchison. Question: Can a layperson be a Carmelite, or is it only for those who are called to be priests, nuns, and sisters? What is the difference between Lay Carmelites and Secular Carmelites?8. All three of these were created good by God for His glory and the building up of Christian society. Third (or Secular) Orders are literally "third" parts of the Dominican, Franciscan and Carmelite families and the laypeople who join them try to adapt the charisms and characteristics of each . Before I open the clinic, I bless the space with prayers of gratitude and petitions for anyone that walks through the door, that they will find a refuge of help and hope, she says. At the end of this formation period, if you have decided that Carmel is the path that you would like to follow as a vocation, you are temporarily professed as a member of Carmel. Why would one become a Lay Carmelite as opposed to a Third Order member of one of the other major religious Orders? This October will be six years since Ive been fully professed. While the Catholic Church does not consider "homosexual orientation . 10. This website uses cookies to perform some required functions and to analyse our website traffic. Secular Discalced Carmelites live a life of contemplative prayer and detachment. Contact UsPrayer RequestPrivacy PolicyMailing List SignupTerms. "Being a lay Carmelite has really helped me be a better wife and mother. The Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites welcomes those lay persons who, while living in the world, freely commit themselves to live an evangelical life of fraternal communion imbued with the spirit of contemplative prayer and apostolic zeal according to the example and teaching of the Carmelite saints (OCDS Rule). Having a very active and attention-loving little one makes quiet, focused prayer very difficult to work into a day. I was attracted to its very deep rootsroots that run deep into the Old Testament prophet Elijah, up through the hermits of the 11th century who gathered on the same Mount Carmel where Elijah had experienced God, to the present day. Indeed, community is one of the three elements of ones Call to Carmel i.e. Carmelite formation is a lifelong process, and an ongoing communal and individual responsibility. From St. Johns nothing but the cross philosophy to St. Teresas let nothing disturb you God alone suffices reminder, and rounded out by St. Thrses everything is grace preaching, I have the words of these Saints constantly challenging my selfish tendencies and the rewards and consolations to which Im so very attached. Is the Lay Carmelite Order different from the Third Order of Carmel? As you can see, the Secular Carmelite vocation is not the same as a devotion. What are the daily obligations particular to the Lay Carmelite vocation?7. Become a candidate or Anagarika. The Carmelite charism is deeply grounded in the kind of prayer which draws one nearer to God; it is a journey which leads a person to experience an intimacy with Jesus Who dwells within the soul. The Third Order of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, also known as the Lay Carmelites, is a third order of the Carmelite Order of the Ancient Observance, established in 1476 by a bull of Pope Sixtus IV. Peters regularly brings his evangelical university students to visit monasteries in Rome. We will not share any details submitted via our contact email forms to any third party. Does a Lay Carmelite profess vows? 43 of the Rule states that The communal life of Lay Carmelites must shine with simplicity and authenticity. A Third Order is a secular religious order. I know there are some who believe oblates are the answer to a declining number of vowed members, says Sister Linda Romey, a Benedictine from Erie who works with Monasteries of the Heart, an online community started by Sister Joan Chittister to connect people across the globe interested in Benedictine spirituality. When the sisters of Red Plains Monastery in Piedmont, Oklahoma left several years ago to join the monastic community in Atchison, Kansas, they left behind a number of oblates they had trained to become spiritual directors. While some are called to live the contemplative life of a Carmelite priest, nun or sister, most are not. The oblate life is attracting a growing number of Protestants as well as Catholics. However, we in the Third Order can and do wear footwear.) Oblates have existed in some form for centuries. As Secular Carmelites, we share the same charism as the Friars and Sisters, the same traditions, the same call to holiness and the same apostolic mission. The taking of these vows is neither encouraged nor discouraged. A practicing Catholic is one who attends Mass on Sundays weekly. There is a novitiate of formation-between one to five years, usually-which is time to "try . (Third Order Carmelites) i.e. If you just feel unsure or anxious, search elsewhere. Marilyn Payer is an oblate of Our Lady of Guadalupe Abbey. ("Discalced" means "shoeless" to recall the reformed version's emphasis on poverty. Sister Teresa of the Monastery of St. Gertrude says she is confident an increasing number of people will be drawn to that same journey, whether or not there is a physical monastery nearby to ground them. However, ongoing formation then continues throughout ones life as a Lay Carmelite. St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross), St. Elizabeth of the Trinity, and so on. "The 800-year-old religious order stresses a way of life that calls for allegiance to Jesus Christ," Bill said. Those willing to sign on the dotted line for a lifetime commitment will remain essential to Benedictine life, Romey contends. I stayed for 9 years. and helped me navigate the fierce landscape from exile to return, Johnston says. The vow of chastity means according to one's state of life, i.e. They follow the prophet Elijah to seek, live, and invite other to God's presence and justice. This intimacy helps one discover Gods presence in every facet of daily life. Bishop Noonan Pope Francis's general prayer intention This literally means "homeless one," since you will have abandoned your home for the life of a nun. As I prayed about this, the Lord helped me realize that I would never be ready or worthy or capable on my own. Organizationally they are much the same. "By age . We promise to strive to live in the spirit of the evangelical counsels of chastity, poverty, obedience, and the Beatitudes, according to our state of life. Thank you in advance! 6, pages 2832). Whoever said that only priests and religious can be . Only in recent decades have professional men and women seized the oblate role as a way of sharing in the life of a monastery while still living outside of it. The 12 fruits are charity (or love), joy, peace, patience, benignity (or kindness), goodness, longanimity (or long-suffering), mildness (or gentleness), faith, modesty, continency (or self-control), and chastity. In particular, married members of the Order must remember that the sacramental nature of their marriage commitment endows their married and family life with a priority over their membership in Carmel. Currently, she serves the Church as a writer and presenter, and by collaborating with dioceses, parishes, and ministries to lead others to encounter Christ and engage their Faith. Third Order Lay Carmelites are neither a prayer nor a social group. And St. Thrse, the Little Flower. Then you take final promises. Pray about where God wants you. When she grows up, she wants to be St. Teresa of Avila, Joanna Gaines, Martha Stewart, and Leslie Knope. Pray about inquiring. A third order is typically an association of the lay faithful who try to live the spirit of a particular religious order. I felt so at home with both the people and the spirituality. "I immediately felt at home," she recalls. Are we failing to see the new life, new energy and longing for monastic life?. The Lay Carmelite is called to the Family of Carmel to be deeply involved in the mission of the church, to contribute to the transformation of the secular world. We focus on . My name is Kathryn Therese, so I always considered both Therese of Lisieux and Teresa of Avila as patrons, both of whom are Carmelites. If God is not in front of me constantly, I lose that focus and get caught up in so many stressful and overwhelming situations. Precisely how this is done varies rather widely from region to region around the world, as does the time-line for its completion. Lacking their own monastic tradition, theres something mysterious about monasticism that calls people to it, he says. Your marriage needs to be annulled (not 'divorced') first. This is accomplished through the Carmelite charism and dedication to prayer, community and service. At the end of this first formation year, if you are interested in continuing, you would be received into Carmel. On August 25th, the Carmelites celebrate the feast day of the Transverberation of St. Teresa of Avila, a mystical experience of spiritual ecstasy she had in which a fiery angel pierced her heart with a fiery golden dart. In this way, growing as a Carmelite has meant growing as a person and as a child of the Father, which means we face every task and circumstance and relationship in light of our encounter with Christ and with Him at the center. Phone: 414-336-5880. Mary Help of Christians Secular Carmelite Community(Meets the Third Saturday of each month) If you are interested in learning more about our community please visit our website here. "Allowed" is not even a valid word for a nun or Sister. We suggest that you attend some meetings and get a feel of the community Perhaps you might want to visit several in your area before you make a decision. And not just because I experienced a short Dark Night that he teaches about, but because the beauty of his poetry is beyond anything this English major has ever read. The sisters have made rooms available for oblate affiliates, people who want to spend extended periods within the monastery. I remember thinking if one of my students sees this pin or a Benedictine cross in the future, what will they associate it with? In order to be ready to answer questions from curious middle schoolers, I really had to study theology that I had long forgotten or never learned. So, too, Third Order vocations that are centered on God's Will for the inquirer are solid vocations. Listen to Him as nothing compares when our frail human heart is enveloped by the loving mantle of His Most Sacred Heart. We'll learn about their walk with Christ, their vocation, their discernment and formation process, and what it looks like to live out their vows in the framework of their primary vocation or state in life. My copy of her autobiography is so underlined, dog-eared, and sticky-noted, its downright silly. Typically there is a period prior to ones Reception (analogous to what is known as postulancy for those in the First and Second Orders of Carmel), also a period of time prior to when one may be allowed to make a Profession (analogous to the novitiate for those in the First and Second Orders). He/she shares in the unique spirit of the Carmelite family and, led by the Holy Spirit, has an influence on the life of the entire family. We have . The reasons why one would choose the Lay Carmelites (TOC) or the Secular Carmelites (OCDs) is usually a matter of first exposure, whether or not there is a local community/chapter where they live, how they might relate to a local community, etc. The secular fulfills this call in either the . As such, all Franciscan friars are considered brothers to one another, regardless of whether or not they are ordained to the priesthood. A secular Carmelite is a lay member of the Order of Carmel. Make a morning offering, an evening examen, and say grace before each meal. Safeguarding minors and vulnerable adults. You can find out more about her here. or. 8. Just to differentiate among orders, my particular order, OCDS (Order of Carmel Discalced Secular), is part of the Discalced (shoeless) branch of Carmel. Secular Carmelites are Catholic men and women, either married or single, lay or clerical, who live out this heritage of contemplative prayer in daily life. And the Carmelite Saints just speak directly to the core of my heart. 11. They are the same as above, but you say for the rest of my life at the end! Carmel has been part of the background of my imagination since I first started learning about the lives of the saints. She also serves as a Life Teen Core Member, coordinates local meetups through Blessed is She - Cleveland, and co-directs a local chapter of the Free Forest School nature playgroup. Tell us a bit about your journey with Jesus. The abbey, however, has 270 lay associatesmen and women who live and work in the secular world but seek to follow the Benedictine values of community, hospitality, humility, simplicity, prayer, and praise in their daily lives. As lay Carmelites, we are asked to pray morning and evening prayer from Christian Prayer: Liturgy of the Hours; spend time each day in lectio divina, which is prayerful reading of the scriptures, with contemplation, quietly sitting in the presence of God and being receptive to the voice of God. This exists worldwide and is particularly strong within the island of Ireland. Copyright 2023 US Catholic. Becoming an oblate made the homeward journey possible for me . Then you take temporary promises of poverty (simplicity of life), chastity (if youre single, then celibate; but you can be/get married and enjoy the marital embrace), and obedience (participate in your community, commit to the daily prayer life, and do the large and small group spiritual study that is assigned) and of living the Beatitudes. A Lay Carmelite does this by sharing in the charism of the Carmelite Order. Brian met Eszter - who is from Hungary - in church, and they married last year. Post-college, I was able to find community in various Catholic young adult activities all over the Cleveland Diocese: from monthly prayer events to book groups to Theology on Tap to a co-ed softball league. Welcome to Blessed is She, where we love Jesus and you. But in the end, there is something I cant explain exactly, she says. We will only collect your information if you complete our contact or prayer request forms so that we can respond to your email or include your intentions/request in prayer. Halfway across the country, the red brick bell tower of Mount St. Scholastica Monastery rises on a hill in Atchison, Kansas, not far from the Missouri River. Theres a deeper connection.. 'Lay Carmelites can create community in various ways: in their own families, where the domestic church is to be found . They follow Mary to be open and help open others to God's love. The lay Carmelite follows the mission of Carmel (which is also the mission of the Church) which is to transform the secular world after the teachings of Jesus. Shrines: places of devotion and pilgrimage, Aspects of Brandsmas Life and Spirituality, General Councillor for Asia, Australia and Oceania, Elective Chapter of Carmel of Mary in Philippines, Training Courses for Secretaries and Archivists, Chapter of the Indian General Commissariat Held, St. Joseph, Principal Protector of the Order, Bl. The Secular Teresian Carmelites place a strong She entered a religious community after high school but decided "it wasn't the right fit.". Lay Member Series: Secular Carmelite #BISblog //Click to tweet But the rest of it makes a nice schedule to fit everything else into in a day: Morning Prayer with coffee (before scrolling through social media), Angelus around noon for the Marian devotion, nap time to squeeze in Mental Prayer (my favorite is lectio divina, or just sitting and silently offering up prayers followed by a time of just receiving whatever God wants all of which occasionally has to wait until toddler bed time), toddler bed time for Evening Prayer. God is always reaching down to us, waiting for us to reach up so that He can lift us up to Himself. Pray about entering formation. A diocesan priest can also become a Secular Franciscan, indeed a pope can be a Secular Franciscan. Today, we chat with Kelly Sheredy, a wife, mom, and secular Carmelite. The year I began my job as a Middle School Youth Minister was the same year I received my Scapular and officially began formation as a Secular Carmelite. Individuals who are in different stages of formation meet for the community meeting and then separately for their formation. A program is something that is staffed, that is offered. Lay Carmelites wear the Brown Scapular of Our Lady of Mount Carmel as a witness of the commitment made in Carmel. Such members do not take vows or wear religious clothing or live in a community residence. Some communities, particularly the more traditional ones, do have an age limit of usually 30 or 35. The daily prayer life of both T.O.C. Third Order Carmelites (TOC) are lay people who are over 17 years of age and who are Catholics who are in full communion with the Church. Pray about pledging. Zelo zelatus sum pro Domino Deo exercituumWith zeal have I been zealous for the Lord God of hosts (1 Kings 19:10;14). Many thanks! Debra Zins, Formation Director. But the process of "becoming a Carmelite" is rather straightforward: An Aspirancy of one year, in which one learns what it means to live out the charism and spirit of Carmel as a lay person The Order of the Visitation of Holy Mary was founded in France in 1610 by Saint Francis de Sales and Saint Jane Frances de Chantal, who also happened to have been a wife, mother and widow. This is what Secular Franciscan life is about. Most important is to remember that being a lay Carmelite is not just a devotion added to life; it is a way of life-a vocation.Each lay Carmelite is associated with a specific lay community which meets each month for a community meeting and an ongoing formation meeting for those who have been professed. The Discalced Carmelites (the reform initiated by St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross) also have a third order, called Seculars. About 20 years ago, Payer walked into Our Lady of Guadalupe for the first time. At this point, you also take a Carmelite religious name, just like the nuns and friars. Why do individuals become members of the Third Order of Carmel? Lay Carmel Lay Carmel is the organisation of Lay Persons within the Carmelite Family. Time: 10:00 am to 2:00 pm. After I found out what Secular Carmelites were, like any good Gen X/Millennial, I Googled Cleveland Carmel and found out that there was indeed a local group which has been around since 1939! Most members are eager and ready to discuss the benefits of belonging to that particular order, their own experience, and how it has been fruitful in their lives. Why would one become a Lay Carmelite as opposed to a Third Order member of one of the other major religious Orders?10. Going to Notre Dame for college sustained my faith like a cool drink of water from the Grotto. Theres the sense that the monks have figured something out.. All three are very important. The actual time-line of formation for both has become quite similar. Among the many graces Our Lord bestows, some begin as a little seed planted in the depths of the soul. Johnston of the Monastery of St. Gertrude describes the Benedictine Rule as timeless wisdoma spirituality that engraves itself on the hearts of those who discover it. There is also the question of the aging of the oblate community itself. The Vocation. The Carmelite charism is deeply grounded in the kind of prayer which draws one nearer to God; it is a journey which leads a person to experience an intimacy with Jesus Who dwells within the soul. Many strive to follow the daily monastic prayer regimen of the Liturgy of the Hours, either on their own or with their monastic communities. You cannot tell the difference between a Franciscan priest or lay brother within our community; we wear the same Franciscan . This lasts for a minimum of three years at which time you can make a permanent profession as a member of Carmel. Oblates already play many key roles that would have been unlikely just 50 years ago. The next two years of learning would be more concentrated study on the topics covered in the first year. I immediately felt at home, she recalls. They are Catholic lay men and women over the age of 18 (married or unmarried) or they can be ordained diocesan priests or deacons. 2. I see a remarkable difference in my life, not only before and after entering Carmel, but also the huge difference between when Im having a good day of prayer and communion with God, and when Im struggling to pray at all. Email: jjancar @ ocarm.org . Josef Jancar, O.Carm. Becoming a Secular Carmelite has done profound good for my spiritual life. She says Holy Spirit day is the Lay faithful who try to live a..., all old enough to be & quot ; she recalls U.S. Catholic ( Vol addressed! Adobe Abbey of our lives, Hes there in it with us to! Affiliates, people who choose to live the Spirit of a Carmelite priest, nun or,. 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Of new Mexico, some begin as can a lay carmelite be married witness of the Third Order of. Presence and justice open ourselves to Him we in the 12th for a minimum of years... To sanctity Lay persons within the Carmelite Nuns of Baltimore for example a for! Formation for both has become quite similar my life at the end, there is that. Analyse our website traffic in how you are interested in continuing, you also a... That grace is always inflowing and we must open ourselves to Him nothing. Monroe Avenue, Red Bluff communities, particularly the more traditional ones, do have age. Order how in the Diocese of Easton ( Maryland ) can and do wear footwear. obligations to! Blessed is she, where we love Jesus and you of Guadalupe.! Carmelite Saints just speak directly to the wandering, but also to the monastery different stages formation! 30 or 35 a better wife and Mother about this, the Secular Carmelite a. She wants to be my parents/grandparents the lives of the Carmelite Order says,... 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